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This past week the dude and I have been on holiday. We’ve eaten delicious food shared by generous hosts, picked up new shows (Nashville, anyone?), spent lazy mornings reading and had too much coffee nearly every day. It’s been a welcome and much needed holiday.

Which is why things have been kind of quiet around here.

I want to be a person who enjoys life. Who spends long hours with people, notices beauty and celebrates it, and really experiences they things they are experiencing.

But I find it more difficult than I’d like to admit. I’m an A type personality who truly enjoys feeling productive. Too much down-time makes me (mentally) feel a little stir-crazy. And I really dislike getting home from a holiday and feeling “behind.” Facing hundreds of emails in my inbox and late-fee laden past-due tasks paralyzes me. And as I get grumpy when I’m hungry, having no food in the house definitely doesn’t help.

But slowing down is important to me. Which means I have to regularly practice if I want to grow in this area.

So this this time around, I’m spending a little time each day on things I suspect will make the biggest difference when transitioning back to real life, and then tapping out. And blog posts have been few.

This is a little hard for me. I’ve mentioned before that I feel like a failure when I don’t meet my own aims and expectations. But I also realize that if I want to live a life rich in relationships that is awake to the mystery and wonder of each day, I have to practice turning things off.

As I work toward that, things are a bit quiet around here.

Does anyone else have trouble balancing down-time on holiday with not being insane when they return? How do you manage it?

We all want to be better people. To be becoming on purpose, to be contributing to the world, or to just be happier at home. The first week of the year is the time to review toward this purpose because… Because…

Well??

This week I realized I don’t know exactly why January 1st is the necessary time to set goals. Even annual goals. Is it because of the shiny new number on the calendar? Because the rest of the U.S. is doing it? Because the virtualsos on the internet are doing it?

I whole-heartedly believe in doing regular personal (and business) reviews. They take as many shapes as there are people; but whether a simple reflection on what’s working and what’s not, or a very detailed workbook of prompts to ponder, reviewing helps us go places on purpose.

I started the New Year excited about sitting down to contemplate this past year and codify the new one, but I couldn’t seem to get started. Reflections and possibilities roamed freely in my brain, but I was paralyzed from formally addressing them. To figure out what was going on, I tried a trick I (finally) learned last year: just start moving and the problem usually becomes apparent. And bingo. The allusive showed herself. Here’s where I went wrong.

I Tried To Tackle Too Much at One Time

Having not kept up with regular reviews, trying to catch-up AND newly contemplate all at once was just too much. Since I hadn’t thought specifically about each area recently, I probably need a few hours to thoughtfully engage each of the things I wanted to review, not a few hours for all of them combined. It was just too much.

The good news? Breaking it up really takes the pressure off. A little bit at a time is much more manageable than eating the whole elephant at once. It also allows for greater focus on the solitary topic at hand.

I Felt Shackled by Someone Else’s Time-frame

You know what? New Year’s is not the optimal time for me to review this year. While most people are getting back to work after the holidays, I’m about to leave on holiday. Which means that even if I DID complete an Annual Review, I wouldn’t be able to act on most new resolutions/aims for another month or so. Which means I’d spend the first month failing. Not a good thing for me, friends.

The good news? There’s no indisputable law that January 1st is the time for reviews. If February – or August for that matter – is the time when I have more brain space available, or the time that suits me better for whatever reason, then that’s a good time for setting long-term aims and goals.

It kind of left me wondering if I shouldn’t abandon the January thing in lieu of other long-term goal setting altogether; but I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.

All Together Now

When it comes to larger-scale reviews and goal-setting, it’s much more important that a rested, capable you shows up than when exactly it takes place.

So if the first week of January isn’t the best time, let it go. Instead, take a few minutes to consider when would be a good time, tell a friend that you want to do it then and mark your calendar so you don’t forget.

I’ll be doing the same.

…how about you?…

Did you do any special reflecting for the new year? Do you do any sort of regular reviewing? Do you want to?

I couldn’t be happier to see a New Year. 2012 wasn’t abysmal by any measure, but it held many challenges, and I’m calmly enthusiastic at the formal opportunity to begin again.

While many people set their goals for the year right off the bat, I usually spend the first several weeks settling into my thoughts and aims for the upcoming year. My reflective thoughts tend to be like those rubber bounce-balls; when first sent into motion they go absolutely bananas, but they finally settle when they’ve had enough time to burn off their inherent energy, leaving me with the core of what was really in there.

For many years I swore off any sort of goals or resolutions altogether, considering them for stodgy sorts who weren’t as open to the unexpected as I want to be. But I’ve since come to terms with the reality that setting a direction will result in more of what I desire out of life. And rather than feeling staunchly bound to that, I use it as a tool and accept the freedom to recalibrate whenever necessary.

I’ll be sharing more about this in the weeks to come, and would love for you to join me and share along.

I’ve been busy this past week, a situation which won’t abate in the next one, so I’m just letting the following prompts knock around in my head until I formally sit down and think about them (which the Dude and I have scheduled for late January):

• What went well last year? What did I love and enjoy most?
• What wasn’t just right? What circumstances or other life-characteristics do I not want to continue in for the rest of my life?

For now I’m not asking any follow-up questions (like what to do about it), but rather am just letting myself feel joyful about joys and curious about things I’m seeing could use some adjusting. I find that by soaking in just this part for a while, I’m better motivated toward my future aims when I finally solidify them.

…what about you?…

Do you make “resolutions” or set goals right out of the gate or do you wait a while?

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