Thanks for being patient with the silence this past week. My husband’s grandmother passed away in the wee hours Saturday morning and I have been trying to make myself available to the family in every possible way.
Whoever “everyone” is, I am assured that they know a real blogger has posts in the chute to cover for a few days while they deal with the unexpected. Well, it’s time I confessed something. I am a last-minute girl. Have been my whole life. (Well, when I’m not a “aahhhh, forget it” girl, I’m a last minute girl.) I’m not late so much as I am dancing about with other things until the very last minute.
This is something I’ve really been working on in Year of the Grown-Up. I don’t want to be scrambling at the last minute for my whole life, and if changes are going to be made, they will come as all do: slow and tedious.
I’ve made some progress on this front, though; I am now regularly packed for travel about one hour before leaving the house instead of one minute before. Celebrate the little successes, right?
But I’m new to regular blogging, and still have a long way to grow. Hence the short hiatus in posts this past week. Meanwhile I’ve been learning a lot of grown-up-world things as I join the family in taking care of the details that follow a death.
We’ll jump back in with regular posts on Monday, when I’ve slept a bit more. Until then, I’d be interested to hear what thoughts and questions you have relating to bereavement…
Is there something that you always find awkward, or something people have done or said to you in a time of loss that was completely unhelpful or insensitive? Or perhaps was the exact right thing?
Glad you are back to posting
I have to say, one awkward thing I heard when my grandmother died last year was from a small group member. As I shared about my grandmother dying, someone said, “You know, they always say when one grandparent dies, the other is bound to pass away not too long after out of grief.” I thought… why in the world would you say something like that! It wasn’t really hurtful, because I’m sure somewhere in there was a good intention, but it sure was awkward and totally inappropriate. Oh the importance of thinking before speaking…
Anyway, we are sorry for yours and Brady’s loss and we understand the grief of losing a grandparent. I hope your time with the family is encouraging and comforting
Rebekah recently posted..BUSINESS AS USUAL
That’s a great example. I’ve heard that “statistic”, too. But timing, people. Timing!
I always appreciated it when someone would simply say “I’m so sorry”. I’ve tried to teach my kids that they don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to those who are grieving…it is enough to simply say those 3 words. It was also helpful when friends would say “tell me about your sister… what was she like?” It gave me a great opportunity to talk about all the things that were going through my mind about her anyway.
I love this, Joanne. And truly, that has been the least awkward of anything people have been saying. Anything more quickly becomes too much and requires some sort of response from the bereaved.
And I really appreciate your suggestion of asking about the late friend/relative. I’ll have to use that. Thanks for sharing it!