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Discover: Meteor Showers

August 9, 2012

photo by evosia

In a few days, the dude and I will have been married twelve years. I can’t imagine someone more perfectly suited for exactly me, and am so thankful for all the grace and forgiveness he continually extends in my direction. It’s been twelve years, Dude. Thanks for still putting up with all my cuss.

Our anniversary (August 12) falls on the peak day of the annual Perseid meteor shower. For many years this coincided with the dude’s busiest time of year. Fourteen hour work days leave little time for anniversary celebrating. But he’d by out by 10pm, and even such a long work day didn’t prevent us from sneaking out in the middle of the night to see the streaking beauties. We’d drag ourselves out of bed at 3am or so and head out in the the quiet for our corner lot in the country. It wasn’t really ours, of course, but on the morning of August 12th every year, it belonged to us.

Some years, when the moon was nearly full, or the clouds were out, or there just wasn’t much activity, we had only conversation to show for our effort. But other years it was the sky that just wouldn’t shut up.

That’s how it is with meteor showers. Some nights tragic. Some nights magic.

On one particular occasion (not during the Perseids), the sky exploded. We decided to time it because the whole thing seemed too incredible. And in five minutes we saw over eighty shooting stars. Eighty. Can you imagine what the ancients would have thought? Then I read about the Great Leonid Meteor Storm of 1966 and I’m pretty sure that if I ever see such a thing – and I hope to – I’ll think it’s the end.

Tomorrow I’m going to post all kinds of specifics for getting out to see the Perseids this weekend. Until then, here are some Meteor Shower basics for anyone new to the theater. This is long, I know. So just skip to the parts that interest you. Or to the end. Or to the Olympics. Whatevs.

What is a meteor shower anyway?

Experientially, a meteor shower is a night-time event where, under the right conditions, you can see lots of shooting stars.

Technically, a meteor shower happens when earth’s atmosphere comes across a field of cosmic debris, usually stuff spun-off from comets. I’m no scientist, so I’ll leave it to others to do the ‘splaining. This page here explains it pretty well and speaks like an earthling. (You wouldn’t believe what kind of kooky language I encountered finding that for ya.)

So when do meteor showers happen? How do you find out about them?

[Read more…]

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Reminders for August

August 6, 2012

I woke up the other day and discovered that it’s August. It’s August. Can you believe it? Are you wondering where the summer went and wishing it would stay, or are you sooooo ready for it to end?

I live in the Middle East. So it’s safe to say I’m always ready for summer to end. Of course, summer weather won’t subside for quite a while. But August is always when I start to feel like the worst might be behind us. (Even though it usually isn’t.)

But, yes, it’s August already. And in the spirit of taking responsibility for our seasons and days, it seems like a good time of year to step back a few paces and get a view of where we’re at. If we don’t do it now, we’re likely to hit the Fall, look up again when it’s December, and find another year gone.

So if you’re game, here are three things to think about this week to make sure you’re where you want to be at this point in 2012.

1) Finishing Summer

Is there anything you want to do before school starts or the days shorten? Did you want to have that barbecue and didn’t? Or haven’t yet had that family fun day or finished that novel?

If so, take a second to write those things down on your calendar (in pencil). The very act of looking at your calendar will help you see if you can fit it in, and having the time set aside in your schedule will a) remind you that you want to do it and b) hold open the time slot. If you later decide against it, you’ll have free time for something else. And would that really be so bad? So, like I said. Pencil it in real quick.

2) Are you prepared for Fall?

My friend Jeannie would be furious with me for saying Fall. She insists it is Autumn. A word I find more beautiful, but whose usage always makes my sentences feel clunky.

Anyway, Are you prepared for Fall?

Now is the perfect time to look forward and start capturing those things that have a tendency to sneak up on you. School uniforms and lunchbox ideas, carpool options, shopping for needed clothing (especially basics) now before things go haywire. (Have things already gone haywire? Recent facebook chatter makes is sound like some schools are already starting. Is that true? Message me.)

Anyway, take that pencil, and wherever is most appropriate for you, make a few notes about things that will sneak up on you. Then take a few minutes to make appropriate reminders for yourself. It sounds unnecessary now, but  you’ll love the peace of mind that comes with those reminders being present.

As for me, from here I can see that October could turn ape on me, so I’ve made myself a note to  start planning Christmas gifts in October and to contact our potential Christmas guests in November to let us know if they think they’ll be coming or not. If October does go crazy, I’ll have my reminders to help me stay on track with the holidays.

3) How are you doing with your annual aims?

I like to review my annual aims about once a quarter. That should have been at the beginning of July, but life happened and the aims-review didn’t. In the past, this would have frazzled me. But these days I just try to jump in wherever I find myself and go forward from there. Today I find myself in the first week of August, so first week of August it is. Review time.

A quick look at the Life Review I did at the beginning of 2012 shows me that while I’ve come a long way with my home goals and aims in my relationship with the dude, I wanted to do better with exercise this year and haven’t yet. I also made a note that I’d like to have some sort of getaway (however small), and that hasn’t happened yet either. So I’m making myself some notes and will (hopefully) take action on those soon. And goodreads is telling me I’m four books behind my 2012 reading goal. Yikes.

For the record, I think it’s fine to bail on annual aims. Sometimes you get later into the year and realize that the things that popped into your head the first week of January just don’t matter to you anymore. I’m totally a fan of booting those. But whether you keep them or change them, it’d be pretty great to get to the end of the year making some progress on things that matter to you, wouldn’t it?

Of course, if you haven’t any annual aims, take a minute to consider if there is anything you’d like to make progress on (personally or professionally) before the end of the year. Today is as good a day as any to make a start.

And that’s it. An encouragement to look up from whatever you’re up to and take inventory. Hope it’s been helpful!

What have I forgotten? What throughout-the-year review tips do you have? Please share!

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What is the 80/20 Rule? (Short and Simple)

July 25, 2012

Last week I wrote a post about how to properly introduce people, and I mentioned I was using the 80/20 rule as a paradigm for approaching my how to.

But what is the 80/20 rule exactly? And why should we care?

When I hear the 80/20 rule referenced in a group situation, I always notice at least one blank face in the room. But of course it is rare that the unindoctrinated actually ask, because there are others in the room tracking right along, and interrupting to ask at that point feels awkward.

Well, be lost no more, friends. Today we unpack the 80/20 rule.

Definition of the 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 rule (more technically known as “the Pareto Principle“) says that, “for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.” (Wikipedia, 22 July 2012)

For example, according to the 80/20 rule, we would expect roughly 80% of a company’s profits come from 20% of their hours spent or that 80% of that clean-house feeling comes from 20% of your house-cleaning efforts.

Another Contemporary Definition

In contemporary usage, the 80/20 rule also refers to the common scenario where 80% of ownership or outcomes stem from the top 20% of an ordered group.

Examples of this would be observations that 80% of the world’s wealth is owned by 20% of its inhabitants, or that 80% of a company’s complaints come from 20% of its customers, or that you spend about 80% of your time with about 20% of your friends.

It’s a Generalization

The 80/20 rule as Pareto introduced it has been studied at length and has a good bit of statistical backing. But on the whole, when everyday sorts of folks reference the 80/20 rule, they are making a generalization. They’re encouraging others to spend their time more efficiently by focusing on the 20% of actions that yield the biggest results, or pointing out that dropping the 20% of your acquaintances that eat up 80% of your energy might just save you some grief.

And whether or not the numbers would actually come out at exactly 80/20, the reality is that many people intrinsically identify with the general sense of the principle as applied to an incredibly broad range of topics. Which means it will probably be a part of our culture for many years to come.

And So…

I suppose you could possibly go the rest of your life and never again hear someone refer to the 80/20 rule. But my guess is that now that you’re familiar with it, you’ll notice it referenced all the time. And now you’re in the know!

Is there anything else you regularly come across but don’t know what it is? I’d love to hear it!

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How To Make an Introduction

July 19, 2012

As with most things in Year of the Grown-Up, I discovered my ignorance about introductions one day when I was giving one and realized I wasn’t quite sure I was doing it properly.

These days In the U.S., nearly anything goes with introductions in a casual environment. As long as you actually introduce people who you aren’t sure know each other, and say at least one of their names (two is ideal, but if you remember one, hey – fohgettaboutit – they will usually introduce themselves to the other), you have been polite in the general sense.

But if you are in a more formal environment, say, with current or prospective colleagues or at a function with many in-the-know people, being able to provide a more formal introduction with comfort and ease will let you feel more confident and not draw unwanted attention (for being ignorant of the “appropriate” practice).

A Quick Disclaimer…

About a month ago I began consulting etiquette gurus (Emily Post, Leticia Baldridge) on the art of proper introductions. I can’t say that I find the specifics intuitive based on today’s norms, and some of the finer details are downright dizzying. But I think we can use the 80/20 rule here. With 20% of the effort, you can master 80% of the craft. So that’s what we’re going for today. The 20% that, when done correctly, will make it seem you are in-the-know introductions-wise. (If you’d like a more extensive treatment, and a funnier one, puh-lease read this one from Karen at art of doing stuff. I’ve read it four times and it still makes me laugh.)

Onward!

How To Properly Introduce People

I’m trying to make this as simple and straight-forward as possible. So I’ve boiled it down to this (again, there is so much more to say, but 80/20 people. Eighty. Twenty.)

What to know:

There is a hierarchy of honor when introducing people.

What to do:

Address the person of higher honor by name, and “present” the other person to them.

The Hierarchy

There are two hierarchies in play, one for business situations and one for social situations. In the old days there was only one, but I guess changes in women’s roles and career norms in general necessitated the adjustment. So these days we have two.

If you can only be troubled to remember one of the two, I’d go with the business one. Most people won’t fault you for using it, and formal business situations are more common than formal social situations for most of us (seems like many of our formal social situations are often related to employment anyway). But really, once you learn the business one, the social one is a snap. The only thing you actually have to remember is to use it.

The Business Hierarchy:

  1. Job title (the boss is boss)
  2. Gender (ladies first)
  3. Age (respect your elders)

The Social Hierarchy:

  1. Gender
  2. Age

Did you catch that? The social hierarchy is exactly the same as the business hierarchy, you just ignore the part that pertains to business. 

The Presenting

First, assess who takes the place of honor.

For a  business situation, whoever is highest up the corporate ladder takes the place of honor. If the parties are of the same position, the female takes the place of honor. If they are of same rank and both female, the elder takes the place of honor.

For Social Situations do the same thing, just ignore their career bits. If both parties are of the same gender and same age, just go with it. You can give your family member or close friend the place of honor if you want, but whatever is fine.

A Very Important Note:

In social introductions, the traditional hierarchy is based on gender and age. Exceptions are reserved for Presidents, Kings, and other supreme ruler sorts. So if you meet the President, the Queen, the Prime Minister, the Sheikh, etc., all bets are off. They take the place of honor. Every. Time. (If this was pertinent information for you, brah. vo.)

Then, make the introduction.

1) Say the name of the person of honor (and look at them)

2) Say one of the following as you turn to your presentee (pick one that feels like you and is situation appropriate):

  • “This is…” (easiest and nearly always acceptable)
  • “I’d like you to meet…” (a little dressed up but still very easy)
  • “Have you met…” (nice if you think they may already know each other)
  • “I’d like to present…” (very formal)

Tip: Stay away from using the word “introduce”. There are some very subtle technicalities to it (again, check out Karen’s article), and by using it you risk botching the introduction. If the situation is formal enough to require “introduce”, use “present” instead and you’re guaranteed to get it right.

If you’ve seen the movie Hugo, there’s a scene you can use to help you remember. Isabelle introduces Hugo to the Monsieur Labisse (the Book Shop owner) and she does it exactly right:

Good morning, Monsieur Labisse… May I present to you, Monsieur Hugo Cabret.

Using that, we can remember to address the honored person first (by name), and follow it up with our choice of wording. In this case, “may I present to you…”

Advanced Moves

  • Use first and last names as often as possible (again, Isabelle gets it right).
  • In conversational atmospheres, mention something about each party that you think the other will find interesting. Do this after you have completed the introduction, starting again with the person of honor. For instance, “Mom, this is my friend Kate. (Elders first.) Kate, my mom loves to cruise and recently took her first Transatlantic voyage. (Told something about mom first.) Mom, Kate cruised the Mediterranean last year and posted all about it on her blog. Now they have something to talk about. Especially great if you don’t want to carry the conversation yourself.

Recap and Take-aways (the 20%)

  • Give an everyday introduction however you want, but learn the proper protocol for formal situations.
  • Look at and say the name of the person in the place of honor first, then present the other party to them using “this is…”, “I’d like you to meet…”, “have you met…”, etc. (Avoid using the word “introduce”)
  • Use full names as often as possible and offer interesting information about the parties you’re introducing.

And that’s it. Let me know how it goes!

(Get more etiquette and other How-Tos for grown-ups… Subscribe to our feed or follow us on Twitter!)

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Spice Up Your Summer With a ‘Summer List’

June 1, 2012

I’m a big fan of intentionality. For me, “intentionality” is just a way to abbreviate doing things on purpose -rather than defaulting to whatever just happens. It doesn’t mean being a slave to productivity or never kicking back to just be; it’s just about valuing with your life (your time) the things you value in your mind.

Enter: the Seasonal List.

I first saw the idea for this pinned to pinterest from this blog. The seasonal list is kind of in the spirit of a “bucket list” or “life list”, but is full of things to experience before the end of the season.

Of course, if you’re one of those cruise director sort of parents (or spouses) who has no trouble making a party from a mud puddle, then this post probably isn’t for you.

But if instead you tend to get caught in an endless stream of the day-to-day without coming up for air, then give this a try; there is something about breaking out of the norm that wakes up relationships, creates lovely memories (often when things don’t go as planned), and the change of venue seems to inspire variations in conversation and behavior.

How to Create Your Summer List

  1. Go crazy with ideas
  2. Edit and Post

You know I like to keep my how-tos simple.

But just in case you’d like a few more details…

1) Go Crazy with Ideas

Start by listing anything you think you might want to do this summer. Include relational things and things you personally enjoy as well as seasonal ideas. For example, I initially had “special dates with the dude” (non-specific) which led me to include a few specific outings, like seeing an art exhibit and seeing Snow White and the Huntsman at Cinema Suites.

If this initial brainstorming has yielded plentiful results,  jump ahead to the second step. Otherwise…

A Few Ways to Stir Up Ideas for Your Summer List 

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What things do I like in general?
  • What things am I particularly interested in or enjoying right now?
  • What special opportunities does summer afford?

Look for ideas online:

  • Search for “free summer activities” along with the name of your city.
  • Look on Pinterest.
  • Find ideas on blogs (search for “summer activities for kids” or “summer date ideas”)
  • Think of upcoming special occasions (Fourth of July, birthdays, etc.)
  • Are there any festivals or other special events coming up in your area? Many cities have websites that list upcoming events or post half-price zoo and museum offers.
  • And don’t forget to browse your own bookmarks, pinterest boards, etc. Saved items don’t have to explicitly apply to stir up good ideas.

2) Edit and Post

Be realistic about how much time and opportunity you’ll have at your disposal this season. In my case, we are only in the states for a few weeks (read: crammed calendar), and then we have a packed July/August back at home. I want to tuck a few special things in there, but I don’t want to tempt myself to feel like a failure. I ultimately decided on five items for my list including “take the wine tour” (a gift from my parents which we can’t do overseas) and take a “monkey day” with the dude (in which we let our creative monkeys out of their cages for a whole day, accomplishable anywhere).

Once you have an idea of what is feasible for you, finalize your list. Aim for variety. Pick things that excite you or that really resonate with you. If Shakespeare in the Park isn’t your thing, don’t include it.

Now format your list and display it somewhere. I’m pretty vanilla about these things, so I’ll be rewriting my list on a clean sheet of paper in plain black ink and sticking it on the fridge. But something like Jamie’s (from the blog linked above) is obviously more attractive.

So what made your list? Please share your favorite ideas in the comments. Or if you post it elsewhere on the web, leave us a link!

 

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31 Book Ideas for Summer Reading (2012)

May 25, 2012

Earlier this week I shared a simple way to jumpstart your reading. Today I’m sharing ideas for your summer reading list. Of course, if you’re like me, you might already have more books on your list than you could read in a lifetime, let alone a summer. Oh well, life rolls on.

For the list, I consulted other summer reading lists, recent bestseller lists, online reader reviews from Amazon and Goodreads, and my own list of favorites. I didn’t aim for a specific number of anything, I just looked and listed and edited and came out with what’s below; which is why some categories have five or more items and some have two.

Two more notes in the interest of full-disclosure:

  1. I have not read every book on this list. Books I’ve personally read are marked with an asterisk (*).
  2. All links are affiliate links, which means when you complete any purchase through them, you help support this blog.

And, without further adieu, I give you…

31 Books for Summer 2012

Five Fiction Ideas

Popular and fairly recent, here are five reads that repeatedly showed on lists I browsed:

  • The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
  • Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
  • Before I Go to Sleep by S. J. Watson
  • The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
  • The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman

Five Notable Biographies

  • Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
  • Endgame: Bobby Fischer’s Remarkable Rise and Fall – from America’s Brightest Prodigy to the Edge of Madness by Frank Brady
  • Jacqueline Kennedy: Historic Conversations on Life with John F. Kennedy by Caroline Kennedy
  • The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
  • Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery by Eric Metaxas*

Six Books to Catch Up On

If there is something here you haven’t read yet, add it to your pile!

  • Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery*
  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen*
  • The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini*
  • Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake by Frank W. Abagnale with Stan Redding*
  • Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn*
  • Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott*

Two Other Non-Fiction Ideas

  • Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
  • Maphead: Charting the Wide, Weird World of Geography Wonks by Ken Jennings

Two To Read Before the Movie Releases

  • The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
  • The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald*

Three Series to Finish

  • The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins*
  • The Harry Potter Series by J. K. Rowling*
  • The Earthsea Trilogy by Ursula K. Le Guin#

Three Memoirs You Might Be Interested In

  • Bossypants by Tina Fey
  • Lots of Candles and Plenty of Cake by Anna Quindlen
  • Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson

Five Books from My Summer List

You know, just in case you’re curious

  • Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
  • Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff
  • Divergent by Veronica Roth
  • Ratio: The Simple Codes Behind the Craft of Everyday Cooking by Michael Ruhlman

So what about you?

What’s on your list for this summer? What recommendations do you have?

(For more summer reading lists and other stuff for grown-ups, follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook.)

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Hi! I'm amber. And these are conversations on life, humanity, and other curiosities borne of my wandering mind and everyday life.
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